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My Next Life - By Woody Allen

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My Next Life - By Woody Allen

Woody Allen describes why he wants his next life to be in reverse, starting old and getting younger.

Tags: funny, clever & amusing, comedy, woody allen, comedian, age, thought - Views: 1,508,210
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49 comments
Comments

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    11

    Woody Allen Got home late one day and his wife met him at the door and with her arms crossed said I want a divorce.

    A Divorce why?

    I heard you are a pedophile.

    A pedophile? My that's a mighty big word for a 12 year old.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    7

    he forgot about having sex with minors and marrying your wife's daughter...and how he likes to be a pervert...

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    6

    I thought this was the script to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    3

    Age inappropriate. Socially insensitive. Bad taste. Weird. Yes, all of those and more, but strictly speaking not paedophilia. Lots of men and women have much younger partners although not under the same unusual circumstances. Never the less it it not fair to brand him as a child molester. It is his business and he has not broken any laws. I could never do it just like most people but we need to be more tolerant since he has done nothing wrong technically speaking....

    But WHAT WAS HE THINKING?????

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    3

    This is bullshit, the guy that invented this phrase was an argentinian named Quino!!

    • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
      0

      Hey i'm really interested in figuring out who came up with this, i've read the quino version too and well deffinately someone coppied someone, and i want to know who was the original, do you have any proof with dates of publication?

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    2

    this wasn't by him, it was by george carlin

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    2

    not Woody Allen or Carlin or Rooney...

    It was written by a comedian named Sean Morey

    source:

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    1

    I don't really care who came up with it first, it's still funny.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    1

    This is dangerously close to the Karl Pilkington way of thinking!

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    1

    Oh, BTW, darn Woody Allen.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    1

    sorry... is QUINO... hahhaha

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    1

    I'm pretty sure this is actually a George Carlin quote.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Exactly!, it wasnt from Woody, George costanza says that in a seinfeld episode i remmy it

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Ya and Johnathan Winters used this on Mork and Mindy too... I bet it's been being' said for ages by many thoughtful souls :~>

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Idiots! The whole lot of ya.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    woody isn't a paedophile, and learn how to spell, you darning douchebags.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 4 months ago
    0

    Bah this is a copy of what quino wrote once...

  • + Anonymous: wrote 8 months ago
    0

    This is accredited to the wrong person; It's actually from Sean Morey's "Reverse Life Cycle"

  • + Anonymous: wrote 8 months ago
    0

    At age 65 you get touched by a 12 year old in his big wheels? Thats a weird life Woody Allen.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 9 months ago
    0

    It was on Seinfeld special dudeS

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    What the darn are you guys talking about? So he married his wife's daughter! We live in a pretty darning backwards world. This is amazing! The guy was hilarious! Ever seen one of his movies? BRILLIANT.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 8 months ago
    0

    This was stolen off of seinfeld

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    charlie chaplin said that.

  • + Anonymous: wrote 8 months ago
    0

    Woody Allen DID NOT WRITE THIS! Quino (who happens to look very much alike) did.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    What l find funny is that people actually go to Snopes to verify something.

    Don't you people realise that Snopes is NOT a THINK TANK, but just an ordinary couple trying to bilk out a living out of gullible ignorant public.

    SHOW ME THE CREDENTIALS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    Costanza said it better.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    He forgot to mention closet pedophile. Oh, wait, that's this lifetime. My bad.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    I read that George Costanza said that too, but read somewhere ELSW that George CARLIN did.

    Now, who did say that, really?

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    that's George!

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    this quote was said by someone else

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    people need to stop reposting this and crediting it to other people

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    george costanza says that in a seinfeld episode

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    That is pretty much EXACTLY the premise of the book Counter-Clock World by Philip K. Dick.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    these are george costanza's words

    • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
      3

      first of all, woody allen is a real person and has been around A LOT longer then george costanza who is a fictional that is based semi on woody allen and semi on larry david. I think it's safe to say woody allen said this first.

      • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
        2

        George Carlin is a real person, and not a douche bag like Pedo Allen

      • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
        0

        Actually, Woody Allen is an artsy douche. George Costanza is fictional, George Carlin is very much real and equally sadly, deceased.

        George Carlin said it and if you imagine him saying it, its so much funnier...

        However, I'm happy to credit Woody Allen with a famous quote of his:

        "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

      • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
        0

        LOL!

        Thanks man...somenone needed to say that.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    This would be Ideal, but if you agree, there is something wrong.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    who cares the comment is right

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    I've now seen this credited to Andy Rooney (first time I saw it), George Carlin (second), and Woody Allen (third). Who actually started this quote, anyone have some facts? My curiosity is piqued.

  • + Anonymous: wrote a year ago
    0

    the original is in spanish, by TRINO...